The lights were turned low so we could see the pictures better and the temperature was just warm enough in the classroom to make me even more sleepy. Woodfin’s nose just slightly to the left of the slide carousel. I was sitting in the front row, my desk almost under Dr. Yandall Woodfin, decided to enlighten us with a slide show of various art masterpieces and the religious and or philosophical meanings that could be ascribed to them, I think there were several slide trays of them as this was in the technological dark ages before Power Point poisoning. That afternoon in Philosophy of Religion the Professor, Dr. One time in seminary the “Z Monster” grabbed me after eating a big burger at lunch before going to class. The last meeting was like one of those afternoon classes that I dreaded back in college and seminary the kind that I took because I was either working or wanted to sleep late, but which kicked my ass. Yesterday I had a couple of meetings today, a long one in the morning and a couple in the afternoon. Now I don’t mind having duty, especially at night when I get a chance to round through our hospital wards and spend time with staff, especially the folks in the various ICUs and units that are not part of my daily routine. So Tuesday I didn’t get to bed until 2:30 AM and was back up at 5:00 AM so I could come to work and take the duty for the house in addition to my regular duties. To use the old pitcher metaphor I may have got the win but my arm and body need some time to recover, only instead of the arm and body it is by pea-brain. However, the subject matter did kick up a bunch of my stuff from Iraq and getting to sleep was really I mean really fun….not. This was a big accomplishment for me as I have not been able to do this since before I went to Iraq. Tuesday it was hard but it was like getting a complete game and the win. That last three times I have attended classes or seminars dealing with things related to or that touch on my stuff it has been like a old pitcher who has seen better days getting chased from the mound at Yankee Stadium in the first inning giving up 7 runs without recording an out. I actually got through an entire daylong seminar without an immediate PTSD meltdown during the seminar. Tuesday night I had the “privilege” of getting two and a half hours of sleep after a great seminar on Caregiver Operational Stress management and intervention. I am a deliberate and logical person and I don’t like this stuff coming up and screwing with my life, which right now is pretty busy and stressful. Thus it is kind of involuntary, something that I hate. My stuff came up, because as Elmer the Shrink says that they have been suppressed by my brain and get dredged up by stuff that triggers them. My current and crap, which in reality is my old crap move to the present are my PTSD related issues or maybe it’s the whole damned subscription. Tuesday and Wednesday were days where the old Crap both my own life and others kept rising to the top.
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